Summer 2015

Tomorrow I go back to work after being out for 8 weeks. Not exactly a vacation, but definitely the best summer yet. This summer I got to do so many amazing things, but most importantly I got to hang out with my kids. I did almost everything in my summer bucket list, which left me with many amazing memories.

I had my baby boy Carlos Enrique. I was able to breast feed him for about a month. Not ideal, but hey I can say I tried. It wasn't for me, and my family life style. I took my daughter to the pool numerous times. I taught her a bunch of new words. Her vocabulary has expanded so much this summer. I can actually communicate with her, well as much as you can communicate with a 2 year old. We played outside almost everyday. We went for walks, to the park, and to a splash pad. I enjoyed my morning coffee outside in our front porch almost every morning. I even went out one night! Like to a bar on 6th street. hahaha I hadn't done that since god knows when. Yes I was exhausted by the end of everyday, but that was a sign for me to see that I had a good day. For the first time in a long time I enjoyed life, and all the simple things that we forget to enjoy sometimes.

It's going to be a long time before I have another summer off from work in which I can enjoy my kids the way I did this summer. I knew this from the beginning so I really tried to enjoy every second of it.

Tomorrow will be a hard day for me. I know I am leaving my kids in good hands, but I am going to miss them. My heart is broken because this time I am leaving 2 kids behind. Don't get me wrong I love my job, and work life is important to me. I know in a few weeks we will get into the swing of things, and our afternoon and weekends will be just as fun as this summer. I hope everyone has an amazing week. Until next time!

On our way to the Hospital

Here is a little something I wrote on our way to the hospital:

The feeling that mostly stands out right now is nausea. Second feeling is nervous, and finally excited and scared are pretty much at the same level. It's not easy driving to a c section, specially if you have already had one. I didn't choose to have my children via c section, but this is the way life intended me to bring my little ones into the world. I guess in the grand scheme of things who cares as long as the result is a healthy, complete, and happy baby. A good sleeper would be nice also hahaha (nervous laugh right there).  

Here is our last family picture before we turn into a family of four.

 

And here is my last belly shot.

Almost there and my weight

I am now 38 weeks pregnant, and fortunately still feeling great .... In the morning. Hahaha By 3pm almost everyday I start to feel very sleepy and tons of lower back pain. Over all I am ready to meet this little guy and be a family of FOUR! 

The beginning of this pregnancy was not fun. I had nausea every single day all day. It didn't stop until I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I couldn't eat fried foods, soft drinks, and coffee was 100% out of the question. Just the smell of coffee would make me run to the restroom and vomit. Fortunately, that past and the rest of this pregnancy has been smooth sailing! I have enjoyed the belly, taken in every movement I felt, and most of all I have been very happy. 

Let me talk a little about my weight gain. Now guys, I know that the numbers I am going to say are pretty high for some people, but I am actually very proud of my weight. I have come a long way in accepting who I am, what I can be, and who I want to be after the baby. So here we go! 

At the beginning of my pregnancy I weighed 226lbs. At 20 weeks pregnant I went down to 216lbs! If that doesn't tell you how bad the nausea was I don't know what will. Today at 38 weeks pregnant I am 231lbs. Now should I say I've gained 15lbs or should I say I've gained 5lbs? hahaha Another factor I want to mention is that at last weeks appointment I was told that the baby's weight was approximately 9lbs 3oz!!!! Give or take 1/2 a pound. Seriously? That is going to be a huge baby!! So even if I say I gained 15lbs, 9lbs are baby right? Hahaha

Here is my latest belly shot. 

And here is a picture of my chunky cheeks baby boy, Carlos Enrique Murillo. 

TWO

I want to write this post tonight because I want to remember how I feel at this point in time forever. As some of you may know, tomorrow is Carly's second birthday. I have a birthday breakfast planned for her tomorrow and a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on saturday. With all of that going on, I haven't really had time to process the fact that I will have a two year old in less than 24 hours.
I have mixed emotions about this birthday. I miss having a baby, but I love getting to know her.

I feel like two symbolizes her leaving her baby years behind and turning into a girl. I see her now, like see her see her, and I see a girl. No more baby fat rolls or cheeks for days. I see a girl who is independent, sweet, with tons of personality, and I am in love with discovering who she is turning into everyday. I love to see her repeat or learn a new word. I love that we go to the store and she can tell me what things are. Yesterday my mom and I took her shoe shopping. My mom wanted to get her some nice sandals for her birthday. I put some sandals on her that where to tight. She said, "No, ete papo" and she gave me her old shoes ("No, ete papo" is baby talk for "No, this shoe"). It was the funniest thing ever. It was also her first sentence or phrase.
 

If you ever read this Carly. I want you to know that I love you, and you complete me. You are what turn daddy and I into a family. Although our start was a bit rough, because quite honestly mommy had no idea what she was doing, I love our relationship.  I can't wait to see what you will accomplish, and who you are going to be. Pretty soon I will get to see you take on the role of big sister. To be honest I am nervous, but deep down inside I know you will do great. Your kind heart will have nothing but love for your baby brother. I am sure. Happy early birthday changuita! 

Good night one year old. See you tomorrow two year old. I love you! 

Funny Story

About two weekends ago my husband and our friend Joel went to the grocery store, and I asked my husband to take Carly with them. I wanted to take a shower and get ready for the day. I told him, “I am going to put a bow on her. Make sure she comes back with her bow on.” I’m sure you can already tell where the story is going. Keep reading there is a twist.

They left to the store, and I just had the most amazing shower. If you are a mom you know we don’t get many of those. I picked out my outfit. I did my makeup! Let me repeat that. I did my makeup!! That never happens on the weekends anymore. Carly likes to play with my makeup, which usually turns into a disaster, so I avoid that battle althogether. After I got ready, I got to sit and drink my coffee in peace! I even had time left over to setup a coloring station for when Carly got back she could color with her BFF, Jessa.

I don't think you can drink your colors Carly. hahaha

Then the guys got back. Carly had a happy meal in her hand, her bow on her head, and ONE shoe! “Honey, were is her other shoe?” I asked my husband. He said, “Hey her bow is still on. You said nothing about her shoe.” Hahahahaha She lost her shoe! Hahaha I guess next time he takes her I will have to tell him to bring her back exactly the way I send her.

The good thing is that I got Carly some cool new shoes. I have found that the website 6pm.com has great deals on toddler shoes, and the delivery is super fast. This time I got her these shoes.

I think I like these better. Hopefully she can keep these on. Hahaha.  

It was all fun and games UNTIL ...

I realized that I only have 5 more month to enjoy Carly as my only child. I am a working mom so I don’t really have a lot of time with her, or at least I feel guilty about that every day of my life. I treasure our weekends together. I love the relationship that we have developed. It wasn’t always that way. I was not the kind of mom that as soon as she saw her daughter that mother instinct kicked in. It took me a good 10 weeks to actually feel connected to her, add THAT to my list of guilty mom issues. So when we finally connected and our relationship turned into what it is now, I love it and enjoy every second of it. Soon things are going to change for both of us, and I am honestly emotional about the fact that it will never be just her and I. Don’t get me wrong we are beyond the moon excited about Baby Murillo 2.0, but I am still going to miss my alone time with Carly. I will have to make it a point to always set aside time for us two when baby comes.

 I know she will be an amazing sister because that’s who she is naturally. She is very giving. I know she was born that way because she did not get that from me. She always wants to help and be involved in whatever I am doing. So I know when baby comes she will want to be involved and want to help. I just don’t know how our relationship is going to change.

As of now she is 100% a momma’s girl, and I don’t know that it will always be that way. I hear little girls are closer to their dads so I guess I will have to wait and see what changes between Carly and I.

I do find myself hugging her a little long, and holding a little tighter.  Even if she doesn’t know it yet, she is going to have to share mommy with another little human. Maybe I’m just worried because when my mom decided to have more children I was the only child and I was 14! I did not take that very well. My mom’s and my relationship didn’t do so well for a few years, and I don’t want Carly to feel the way I felt. I know I know different situation different scenario. I just have to relax and soak in this time Carly and I have together. Make our bond even stronger in these next 5 months, and just simply enjoy my first born daughter.

So tell me mommas of two or more. Did you have any feelings like this? Please tell me I am not the only one that has felt this way. How do you make sure to be spending one on one time with each child? Is it truly possible to love two human beings equally?