It was all fun and games UNTIL ...

I realized that I only have 5 more month to enjoy Carly as my only child. I am a working mom so I don’t really have a lot of time with her, or at least I feel guilty about that every day of my life. I treasure our weekends together. I love the relationship that we have developed. It wasn’t always that way. I was not the kind of mom that as soon as she saw her daughter that mother instinct kicked in. It took me a good 10 weeks to actually feel connected to her, add THAT to my list of guilty mom issues. So when we finally connected and our relationship turned into what it is now, I love it and enjoy every second of it. Soon things are going to change for both of us, and I am honestly emotional about the fact that it will never be just her and I. Don’t get me wrong we are beyond the moon excited about Baby Murillo 2.0, but I am still going to miss my alone time with Carly. I will have to make it a point to always set aside time for us two when baby comes.

 I know she will be an amazing sister because that’s who she is naturally. She is very giving. I know she was born that way because she did not get that from me. She always wants to help and be involved in whatever I am doing. So I know when baby comes she will want to be involved and want to help. I just don’t know how our relationship is going to change.

As of now she is 100% a momma’s girl, and I don’t know that it will always be that way. I hear little girls are closer to their dads so I guess I will have to wait and see what changes between Carly and I.

I do find myself hugging her a little long, and holding a little tighter.  Even if she doesn’t know it yet, she is going to have to share mommy with another little human. Maybe I’m just worried because when my mom decided to have more children I was the only child and I was 14! I did not take that very well. My mom’s and my relationship didn’t do so well for a few years, and I don’t want Carly to feel the way I felt. I know I know different situation different scenario. I just have to relax and soak in this time Carly and I have together. Make our bond even stronger in these next 5 months, and just simply enjoy my first born daughter.

So tell me mommas of two or more. Did you have any feelings like this? Please tell me I am not the only one that has felt this way. How do you make sure to be spending one on one time with each child? Is it truly possible to love two human beings equally?